Moving Right Along...a smooth ride with the occasional bumps!

It has been well over 6 weeks since I started my new journey with Chix Nutrition Fitness. It has been an interesting time with many new challenges and blessings to learn new information. The scale and I have never been close friends. It doesn't consistently tell me what I think it should say. The weight loss at the beginning of the 6 weeks was slow, loosing about a half a pound a week. I knew from the girl's feedback, that I was doing all the right things, so I would try to leave the scale with my head held high and know that I was so much further and better than I was 80 lbs. ago.  Two weeks ago I received a birthday blessing!  I stepped on the scale and lost 3.1 lbs. This is a huge number for me. I very rarely produce these kind of numbers, so as you can guess, I was thrilled. I left feeling happy, proud, and carrying a new nickname...206. The next week I lost an additional 1.6 lbs putting me at an all time low weight. I can not recall the last time I weighed 204.


Training for the half marathon is also under way. Training in this crazy Illinois weather has had its own challenges, as well as reminding my body what its like to be running again. The 2 month break I took in November and December was not the best move I have ever made. I had this idea in my head that running would become easier as I became lighter. I envisioned that I would wake up one day and say "Let's go run 5 miles!" and it would be as easy as it is to breathe. Well that isn't the case. Is it easier than it was this time last year? Absolutely! Is it still challenging? Yes, and it may always be that way. May be that's why I love running so much. It challenges my body and pushes me in a way that not everything can. And though I have moments like I did this week, where I hated it, I have others where I finish a run and I think to myself...Look at what you just did. I walk away amazed and thankful that I GET to run.


As there are many triumphs that come with this journey, there are also set backs, unfortunately. These are the set backs that make what I have been doing for the last 20 months so hard and often cause me to doubt my abilities and loose the belief that I can do this. Losing weight isn't a piece of cake. There isn't a magic pill to take or a perfect shake to drink. If there was, obesity wouldn't be a problem in this world and the weight loss industry would be bankrupt. It's hard and each day has its challenges, but deep down there is always the "Why am I doing what I am doing?" and I keep trying to remind myself of what that is.  There is aways a "Why?" for everything we do in our lives, but I think in order to continue fighting for what we truly want we have to dig deeper than the initial "Why?". Why do you want to loose weight? Most often the response given is "I want to be thin" or " I want to be healthier".  But then we should ask ourselves, "Why do you want to be thin or healthy?". The final response that we get after asking "Why?" to each answer is what will drive us to be successful and not quit. 


This week as been one of those times that I have had those setbacks. It has been a rough and emotional week. I have had a lot of negative talk with myself, doubting constantly that I will make it to my goal and that running this half marathon is really realistic. I gained 4.4 lbs this week. Not one of my finest moments. I get mad at myself, and of course, at the scale as if it did this to me. Training this week has also been hard. I have not had the best attitude. Dreading having to run the miles, feel the burn in my thighs and listen to the voice in my head tell me that I can't do it. I am a perfectionist at heart and have always felt that if you follow the rules the good things will come to you. I still believe that the good things will come but I have to remember that they will not always come in my time frame. Its moments like these, I need to remember what is driving me to be successful and that there are many people that are supporting me along my way.


I have mentioned before that trying to loose weight is nothing new to me but trying to meet a weight loss goal, as well as train for a half marathon at the same time is new. Though these are two very good goals to have, they don't really make the best pair.  They are almost causing a fight against each other when it comes to my body. I knew training for the half would be challenging to my weight loss because of the massive overhaul I am doing to my body. I knew this because this is what my trainers were telling me but unfortunately my stubborn brain wouldn't take it in. It is the likelihood that my weight will go up and down. That is exactly what it did. Thursday I gained the 4.4 pounds that started to send me over the edge and then 2 days later I loose 2.1. It's crazy. But that's the reality of the situation.  I guess you could say I am on the stretch of the journey where the road has a bunch of up and down hills. The kind that make your stomach turn every once in awhile!

I ended my week much better than it started, making peace with my weight and completing my dreaded long run of 6 miles, saying "That wasn't that bad!" I carry with me this week something told to me by a good friend to help me make it a smoother ride..."This is your journey, with the hills, rocky roads and all. God is by your side waiting for you to ask for help navigating to success."